ErickVeil.com

Get a McJob!
McDonalds has been feeding us the bottom rung of what can possibly passed for food for so long now, that the “Mc” has been commonly used to denote anything of poor quality. It is a prefix I’ve used my whole life to accurately describe anything substandard. When I attach this prefix to a word and use it in everyday language, any listener who hears me expound about the McCrap will know exactly where I am coming from, as thoughts of hamburger-flavored meat-jelly filled doughnuts (which McDonald’s refers to as “cheeseburgers”) are conjured up to produce an almost flashback-like form of physical indigestion. However, now it is official.

The Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary now contains an actual definition for McJob:. The misquote I keep finding everywhere is "low paying and dead-end work," but the actual definition is “low-paying work with little chance of advancement.”

As expected, McDonalds is furious (to my delight). They are threatening lawsuits and all that good stuff, saying that it is "an inaccurate description of restaurant employment" and "a slap in the face to the 12 million men and women" who work in the restaurant industry. HA! The CEO who wrote that, Jim Cantalupo never worked behind one of his own counters at his own pathetic wage, that’s for sure! There seem to be an overpopulation of corporate CEOs who make company decisions with absolutely no idea what it is like to work for their own company. Cantalupo is living in a completely different planet than everyone else, obviously (dumbass CEO, your job should be illegal anyway, you corporate cock-sucker).

First off, there is no mention of “restraint employment” in the definition. Second, that is a damn accurate description of restraint work, on the nose anyway. The slap in the face the 12 million employees receive comes with every paycheck a McLooser earns. Lets get back to reality (I know it is difficult to even look at reality when you are a CEO) and realize that of those 12 million, aint a one with an ounce of pride in possessing the nations worst job, selling the worst food, for a wage slightly worse that Wal-Mart monkeys make.

You can’t sue the dictionary, you dumbass. A dictionary is not coining trademarks, but listing words that are in common usage. That’s like attacking the mirror because you have got one damn ugly reflection (all those pimples from making deep-fried iceberg lettuce salads, mmmm healthy). If you find your own company standards in the dictionary defining sub-standard employment, perhaps you should take a step out of your little fantasy world and take a good long look at the money grubbing PoS corporation you run. Cantalupo would jump at the chance to buy slave labor if he was allowed, I have no doubt. Just replace all your cashiers with ATM style cold stale fries vending machines and save everyone in the country a little dignity.

On my closing note, I would like to point out that this phrase, McJob has entered the dictionary during the reign of King Bush II. This is the president who will forever be known in the history books as the creator of the McJob economy. If this wiener get re-elected, rest assured we would all find ourselves buying all our manufactured goods from Japan, while the only job available in the US will be earning a pathetic McPaycheck while serving McGriddles and Diet Cokes to fat bitches who are in a hurry. Thanks asshole, I’m going to move to Iraq, where the president is spending my taxes to create real jobs.