ErickVeil.com

The New Show

2009-02-03T08:53:00.000-08:00

Liquid Air 18 – Acrylic on Board – Erick Veil 2008

Second Saturday February 14th, 2009 6-9pm

Fall in love with local artists.

“The New New”
A group show featuring some Sacramento’s best artists, including the works of SNR’s 2008 Best Painter in Sacramento, Erick Veil.

Brickhouse Art Studios
www.brickhouseartgallery.com

2837 36th St
Sacramento, CA 95817
(916) 457-2502

Another New Year

2008-12-31T08:19:00.000-08:00

It's that time again. 2008 is gone.

I'd have to say that was the best year of my life. I got off my ass in 2007 and put into motion a plan that let me live a dream that I had since I was a very small child. That picture you draw when the project is, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" For all of my existing memory, I had wanted to be an artist. I used to look at clerks working in art supply stores as the luckiest people in the world when I was a kid. This past year, I owned a gallery. I sold close to twenty pieces of my own art, plus the art of others. My days were filled to their bursting seams with creative activities that required every aspect of who I am.

Like last year, I insist that I need no New Year Resolution. I have nothing to prove. Of course, there's always room for improvement and change, but I certainly don't need to impose it on myself. It happens without effort for me once again, whether I like it or not. I chose the wrong time to start a business. The "worst economy in 60 years, " has shut me down. What little hindsight I can apply from this acute angle tells me that was my only mistake. I performed miracles this year and miracles weren't enough to keep me going for another one. So even though I am going out of business, please hold the pity party: I feel awesome.

I've been changed on a fundamental level this year. I interact with my world differently than before out of the habits I developed. I have built up a momentum that will allow me to navigate life with greater deft. If I were to force a resolution on myself this year, it would be to take full advantage of this momentum and propel myself forward, business or no.

I have no fear of the future. When everyone and their stagnant lives are looking into the abyss and worrying about what's to come, I welcome it as my favored territory. Most people fear being forced from their fat, comfortable, sleep-like lives. I've already been there. I've already been a homeless man- can your failed economy hand me anything worse? I know how far we can fall, and the absence of ignorance leaves me without the fear that the cubicle jockeys feel in the face of grand layoffs and minor difficulty.

My only concern is that this year, I might have to get a job again. That in itself is no problem. What I worry about is that a job sinks me into the midst of morons. I worry that the exhaustion of working with ignorant monkeys again will drain the momentum and energy I've built up. I'm not worried about stability or my car; I'm worried about having to interact with the extremely mentally handicapped that make up a gross majority of the world's population, and the dampening effect it might have on me.

Enough of that bleak talk.

I will lament on the unthinking automatons that ape a human existence more for you later. For now, you should know about change relative to this space. This blog will "disappear" from the front page in 2009. You can continue reading by bookmarking it directly via this link. I'm hiding it from the newcomer and casual observer though. You may consider yourself the inner circle, privy to my public thoughts.

The front page of my website will instead be transformed into a dynamic version of a resume. Human resources, in a brief moment of actual insight, have sometimes gotten into the habit of performing internet searches on potential employees. God knows, I did when I was conducting interviews. We can see your MySpace photos of you acting like an ass, or the YouTube video of your sophomoric pranks at the party. Are you in control of your image on the internet? I am in complete control. You can Google me and the first thing a busy HR rep will find is this space. I can make it so that there is no need to dig further.

Nevermind the bullshit. You know better.

Just So You know I'm Not Crazy

2008-12-26T09:16:00.000-08:00

There are intelligent, professional artists and critics in this world who share similar ideas about modern art, and speaking about contemporary art, as I do:

"I’m capable of thinking that frankly the whole art scene is made up of a bunch of idiots. And I have no desire to get millions of ordinary people to queue up to look at that stuff. Why should they? It’s got nothing much to do with them.”

"Artworld people say, What do you mean you can't understand art talk? Would you expect to understand the talk of a nuclear physicist? Don't you see that art is a special subject like that, you have to do some work at it! But in reality people in the artworld mostly just think moronic thoughts like everyone else, and it's nothing like nuclear physics."

-Matthew Collings

“I'm always trying to create work that doesn't make viewers feel they’re being spoken down to, so that they feel open participation."

-Jeff Koons

It helps to know, that when you approach me for explanations regarding art, that this is the basic point of view that you will receive.

Further justification can be found in the note that not one of the thirteen art shows I organized, hosted, or had art in during this past year appear in this article: The worst art shows of 2008.

Ahoy there!

2008-11-18T08:35:00.000-08:00

Following up on my last post:

"..the pirates are highly motivated.
"There's no fallback job for them. ... Somalia has fallen apart. There is no real opportunity for people who need to make money," she says.
Many fishing towns along the coast of Somalia have turned into pirate towns. "Men in those towns who used to be fishermen say, 'A woman won't even look at me unless I'm a pirate making a lot of money,' " Thompkins says, and young boys there say they want to grow up to be pirates."
-NPR Morning Edition, November 18, 2008

I'm blogging about pirates only because the ninjas are smart enough to stay out of the news.

They did it! Now what?

2008-11-17T08:52:00.000-08:00

This is from the AP press:

Pirates Seize Saudi Oil Tanker

Pirates have taken control of a Saudi-owned oil supertanker off east Africa, the U.S. Navy said
on Monday.
The Sirius Star is the first oil tanker to have been seized by pirates in the area. The huge vessel can hold up to two million barrels of crude oil.

What the hell are they going to do with a tanker? Those things are HUGE. You can track them on Google Maps, they're so big.

Do they have some oil refinery off on some pirate island somewhere they can hide that thing? Some secret underground pirate cove where the satellites won't find it? Outfit it with all sorts of plundered firearms and create a super, floating pirate death ship?

The possibilities are endless, but none of them match up with my Big Book of Reality.

The best thing I can think of, is that this is a trial for a large criminal organization to see if they could pull it off. If they can make it efficient and successful, doing it enough times, they could impact oil prices. Impacting oil prices gives would give them limited political power.

It would take big balls to extort the various governments involved. Unless you've been backed by one already. There is no tough guy who can walk into gang territory and start blatantly stealing the schwag unless he's backed by some newcomer with something to prove.

I'd be looking at small nations with no oil, and no nukes. There are a couple that are outside the world's economy due to sanctions or self dependence still. Then match that with the geographic area to narrow it down more...

Oh wait. East Africa. Earth's ghetto. Organized crime syndicates have their own national borders out there.

Nevermind.

I am the Best

2008-09-25T19:15:00.001-07:00

According to readers of the Sacramento News and Review, I am the best painter in Sacramento, snagging the number 1 spot out of five highly talented artists.

Now, my first reaction is to discount this. The best? Really? There are some talented artists in this city with enviable skill behind the brush. But you know what? I deserve a little happy. I'm going to accept the title with relish because its so rare I get recognition like this.

What it really means, however, is not as simple as "the best". I mean, that's the opinion of those who voted. There was no juried art show to make this determination. These top five were not collectively critiqued together to make an educated determination. On the other hand, this was not a multiple choice vote. You had to actually know my name and type it into a text box, or otherwise submit it to the paper to give me a vote. Not just you, but a lot of people; a majority, in fact.

The fact is, I spent the past year working myself to the brink of insanity trying to promote myself and my shop. I stuck my nose in every art event I could find happening in town. I walked from door to door like an oldschool politician stuffing flyers into them. I stood there and shook hands and talked about me until I was sunburned and hoarse.

Through all of that, I barely mentioned this poll. My goal was to secure customers. To make sure people knew I was there. To hope that they would buy my work before I went under. I didn't campaign for this title, but I sure as hell earned it.

What I really won was the fact that normal people know who I am. I am not a super successful artist, whom art school snobs namedrop in order to appear "in". I am the common man's artist: accessible, sans-ego, nice, and normal like you. The fact that this publication lists me as the best says just how much I've worked in the past year for you to know who I am.

It's refreshing. A big fear of mine was that despite all my hard work, some people would think I did nothing this year after all is said and done.

This publication is proof that I worked my ass off.

Google Chrome! Yawn.

2008-09-02T19:59:00.000-07:00

Google chrome is live! It has ten great new features listed on its website that supposedly give it the edge over the browser you’re already using. Before I continue, if you’re using Internet Explorer, or anything AOL, then you are already a lost noob. Google Chrome might actually be an upgrade. For the rest of us who have a clue, lets take a look at these “features”.

One box for everything
Web search. Web history. Address bar. Suggestions as you type. One unified box serves all your browsing needs.

Not a feature. Firefox does this already and if I were dumb enough to use IE, I’d bet it does too. Firefox lets me set the search engine I use. I’m willing to bet Google strong-arms you into their proprietary search engine (and the advertisers that pay to show up on your searches).
0 points.

New Tab page
Every time you open a new tab, you'll see a visual sampling of your most visited sites, most used search engines, and recently bookmarked pages and closed tabs.

Being automatically directed to Google’s website whenever you open a new tab is not a feature. It’s marketing. It’s also an invasion of privacy as they collect all that information about your browsing to put on their website. I do not want my browsing history right up front for anyone who sits at my computer to see.
0 points.

Application shortcuts
Use web apps without opening your browser. Application shortcuts can directly load your favorite online apps.

Web apps are an application that is run from a web page. Desktop shortcuts to web pages are not a feature. Firefox and IE beat you to it again. But of course, it would be so handy for you to link to Google’s web-app scheduler so that everything you plan is accessible from anywhere there is an internet connection.. and accessible to the corporations who pay to see your schedule for timely advertising suggestions.
0 points.

Dynamic tabs
You can drag tabs out of the browser to create new windows, gather multiple tabs into one window or arrange your tabs however you wish -- quickly and easily.

Another no- feature. Been there done that.
0 points.

Crash control
Every tab you're using is run independently in the browser, so if one app crashes it won't take anything else down.

Hey! Actually a feature! OMG! This sort of detail about web pages I’d actually use.
1 point!

Incognito mode
Don't want pages you visit to show up in your web history? Choose incognito mode for private browsing.

If I were the sort to be concerned about my history, and too retarded to know how to clean it out, I’d be into this.
Half a point for a feature I’ll never use.

Safe browsing
Google Chrome warns you if you're about to visit a suspected phishing, malware or otherwise unsafe website.

Oh yeah. I love extra pop-ups initiated by the application itself telling me that i don't know what's going on. Microsoft hasn’t conditioned me to go completely rabid anytime that happens or anything.
0 points for being irritating.

Instant bookmarks
Want to bookmark a web page? Just click the star icon at the left edge of the address bar and you're done.

Because clicking a tiny icon is easier than a key-press? Not a feature.
0 points.

Importing settings
When you switch to Google Chrome, you can pick up where you left off with all the bookmarks and passwords from your existing browser.

Um. Doesn’t every browser from the dawn of time do this? That’s like saying your brand of tinfoil has a dull side AND a shiny side! Not a feature.
0 points.

Simpler downloads
No intrusive download manager; you see your download's status at the bottom of your current window.

Again, if you’re not a retard, you’ve shut off Firefox’s download manager years ago. It’s not intrusive, and now it’s doing exactly what Google is describing here. Except, not collecting information about what you’re downloading and submitting it to the government. Not a feature.
0 points.

So, I give Google Chrome 1.5 points out of a possible 10. Then I give them -10 points for taking aerial photographs of my neighborhood, collecting information about me on the internet and the real world, selling that information to corporations for profit, and handing it over to the government to keep from being shut down.
Thanks for the new browser Google. I’m totally going to not use it.

Erick vs Erick

2008-08-11T10:46:00.000-07:00

There are two Ericks. Smart Erick, and Stupid Erick. Stupid Erick has complete control over my actions and my mouth. Smart Erick's only role is to sit captive in my mind and witness the actions of Stupid Erick in a constant state of horror.

I think everyone has this. There's a reason for it that has to do with time.

You see, every moment I live, I learn. So my mind in the present is always smarter than my mind a few moments ago. I touched the plate, the plate is hot, I burn myself. But I didn't know the plate was hot until I touched it. Now I know, then I didn't.

It's the same with art. The next project you're going to do is always more interesting than the present project you're working on. You've already learned from this one. Here you've made the mistakes, the next one you wont. Therefore, the current project always sucks, you're just going through he motions because you want to finish what you've started.

That said. I would appreciate it if Smart Erick would shut the hell up. Stop beating Stupid Erick up all the time. If Smart Erick isn't going to jump in before the act of ignorance, then I don't want to hear about it later.

And from you stupid person: I don't want to hear it from you. I already heard it from Smart Erick. I already know. Worry about your own stupid.

My Artistic Peak

2008-06-22T10:25:00.000-07:00

I sold two paintings at my show this month. The buyer of one of the pieces may be commissioning four more to auction off at the Sacramento Film and Music Festival in August in exchange for some sponsorship and exposure for my shop at the festival.

That'll be four paintings in one month. I'm positive I can pull it off, having completed 3 pieces in May (two of which were the ones I sold). Even during the "downtime" in my creative cycle (where I gather more inspiration for the following productive phase) throughout June, I've been more slowly working on a single piece.

Being able to line up shows and events for the pieces has gone a long way towards motivating me to work on them. This time my paintings are more than just another piece for my closet's collection. The resulting momentum is great.

New Layout

2008-04-11T09:52:00.001-07:00

I finally got around to changing the site layout. I made this one with a scrap of matboard and a paper bag. I've still got some tweaks to do, but it's better than looking at an old comic that never gets updated.

An Epiphany

2008-03-13T13:38:00.001-07:00

Something just broke free inside me. Something fell back into its proper place that had been dislodged for a long time now. The other day, I came to the realization, that in addition to a business, I had secured myself a space designed to act as a machine for creative productivity. Furthermore, my epiphany included the realization that there was no one in control of how I spent my time in that space, or the utilization of that space.

In other words, I am now in possession of a place to create art on a scale previously impossible under any other living condition I have experienced in my life, in addition to possessing time that all but demands it be used for such creation. If I were at any other point in the past of my live, I would look upon my current situation with a passionate envy.

I have achieved an ultimate dream of mine. The inspiration is nearly overwhelming, and I must create.

Now.

Seize the Day

2008-02-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a dream that it was the future. I had given up on my path in life, and returned to Ohio in defeat, to start over again.

The entire dream was filled with feelings of regret about the choice. I walked around in the rain with a photo album highlighting all the good times I had in California, all the cool people I knew, and the cool person I once was. By contrast, once I was in Ohio, I was back to being a nobody, who didn’t know anybody, and didn’t do anything.

The “cool” me of the past was a punk and a cad. He played by no rules and defied society. He knew people of like mind: difficult to share life with, yet sharing life with them was fulfilling and intense. By contrast, the failed me who had given up in defeat was trying to do things the right way. I was trying to live a normal life, have a 9 to 5 job, and be a good boy that mother would approve of.

“Blue Veins” by the Raconteurs played on a loop in the dream’s background.

Then I woke up, and it dawned on me: I’m not in Ohio. I haven’t given up; I haven’t failed at life yet. There’s still a chance to hold onto all the awesome things in life.

It’s a new day. Screw the Man.

Exemption

2008-01-04T08:43:00.000-08:00

I am exempt from New Years Resolution this year. Unlike most people, I don't make futile attempts at things that are never going to happen every year. I establish a goal, plan how to get to that goal, and execute the plan. My goals do not include the usual rot regarding the gym or whatever. My resolutions center on things that improve me as a person and add to my character. I accomplish every one of them mainly because there is a clear goal to attain. Things like weight and health are ongoing, never ending things that take more attention than any human has. These goals are a complete waste of energy and will power. Set yourself a goal, achieve it, then move on to a new goal. Stop running in the perpetual gerbil-wheel.

This past year, I turned my whole life upside down on every level. I quit my secure job that I was happy with and opened my own business. My life is so improved, so changed, that any resolution for this year is moot. I already gave myself hefty goals to work for and they are going to require my full attention. Pass or fail, I will come out of this greatly improved.

So no resolution for me. For you, I recommend doing something positive, but something you can actually attain this time around.

Time to Redecorate

2007-12-21T14:48:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking new site design. I mean, unless you like looking at the same unfinished comic page every time, that's cool. But I blog a little and doodle, so more accommodation to stuff that actually happens and less to the old project is probably in order. I might have time for that.. yeah.

Aw Crud, It's December

2007-12-12T17:35:00.000-08:00

Man I have got the December Funk like nothing else. There's something about this time that gets me wanting to put a slug in my head. No, no, don't go calling me, I'm not going to off myself. My intact sense of self-preservation prevents that with excessive effectiveness.

I am downright MOODY this time of year. I go from depressed to pissed-off. I can only imagine the worst possible outcome of any action or its void. What sucks only a little less, is when I realize that I'm in the Funk, and that this is all in my head. Strangely, even though I've convinced myself that I'm just being a big baby, I still feel like shit.

This sucks. It's like being sick, except all the ache is in my head, it doesn't exist. By body wants to go curl up in a dark corner until spring like I'm suffering from some fever and I can just sleep it off for three months. Crap, man. Life's still got to happen in the meantime. I still have to work, I still have to put on a smile for the world , because that's my job, by choice. The people in my life need me to exist, they need me to experience this portion of the year with them, and they're right.

I'm still breathing, and as long as I draw breath, I'm going to enjoy the fact that I can.

Time's Up

2007-11-18T08:11:00.001-08:00

Well, I'm sorry to say this to all the Jetsam fans out there, but there's only a couple weeks left in this comic. Over the past eight months, I had turned my attention to a new project; I have designed and built completely from scratch my own art gallery and frame shop. Turning myself into a business owner and satisfying one of my life's goals has taken an incredible amount of my time an energy. I have had no time to draw, and this comic's been running on buffer for at least six months now.

I've satisfied my new year resolution of two years ago when I kept this strip going weekly for a full year, and exceeded it when I kept it going for another one. I have great ideas to continue the plot in exciting new directions as well. If I had continued the old path of my unproductive life, we would still be going. Jetsam has been a success because the setting and the plot have inspired in me many imaginative scenarios, and kept my full interest two years and counting. The interest hasn't waned, but my available time has.

In two weeks, this chapter will reach its conclusion, and so will this comic. Perhaps one day I will get back my free time, and continue the adventures in the future of Earth's orbit. Working on this had done many great things for me and my artistic development, the exercise will be missed.

I hope you've enjoyed the ride this far.

Quick Comic Comment

2007-10-09T19:10:00.000-07:00

I really like this particular episode of Jetsam. I'm really getting into the artwork here, and I've begun working in more interesting. I like how the color works here too.

A New Chapter

2007-09-29T06:14:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day of working for another person. Tomorrow, I am self employed. It's leaving the safety of the familiar behind and having to trust myself. I have to trust my plans will work. I have to trust my budget is sound and the math is right.

The first few months are going to be the hardest, as I build this trust in my own ability to carry my own weight. The tasks that need to be accomplished are overwhelming if I think about them all at once. I have to keep everything laid out in a careful schedule in order to keep my nerves steady: Every complex problem can be solved a series of many simple tasks. I have to focus on one task at a time, and trust that I've laid them all out.

For some reason, sometimes its hard trusting that I have everything together, except in the moments where I can look directly at the plan and see the sense that it makes. It's as if I've proved myself to everyone in the world, except myself.

And that's sort of why I'm doing this: The only person that matters is demanding proof that I can.

My Gut Hurts

2007-09-08T21:42:00.001-07:00

Finally, a Saturday night where I just come home from work and have time to post a Sunday comic. Man, it's been a busy summer, but it's been worth it. I've been having lots of fun, and now it's time to pay.

I spent twelve days with gut cramps last week. It got so bad i thought my kidneys were hurting. It turns out it was just the muscles near my kidneys, but, you know, that's a good reason to go to the hospital to find out if something's up. So my doctor basically says: "You got IBS. We don't know anything about it and can't do anything about it. Suck it up."

Fun times, lemme tell ya.

Out For the Weekend

2007-08-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

I'm heading out to Cleveland for this weekend, and shouldn't be back until Tuesday. That means I won't be able to update the comic on Sunday, since I do it manually rather than using an update program. I also have no way to remotely update from the dial-up services that will be marginally available to me while I'm out.

So you all have two options: Either I could update Tuesday when I get back, or we can wait until next Sunday for the next update, taking this week off. The choice is yours. All you have to do to get an update on Tuesday is reply to this blog, or send me an email. If you want it, you'll get it. You just have to let me know.

VH1: The Song Remains as Lame

2007-07-31T10:52:00.000-07:00

I remember the days of youth: cable TV had been around for a few years, and had given birth to MTV. Music had become a visually theatrical event as the station played a broad spectrum of actual music videos. The shows were all music oriented, from Yo MTV Raps, to Headbangers' Ball, to interviews of Robert Smith on 120 Minutes, and some Phill Collins vids in between to placate the elder race of Baby Boomers.

VH1 popped on in the midst of this musical evolution. They took what one would think would be the next logical step, and target a niche musical interest in a way that radio had done before.

Their only problem: the niche was old people.

Eventually, time marched on and MTV showed less actual music, and more bs TV shows. We all know the rant: you hear people bitch about this about as often as you hear about how unsightly it is to go about with your pants slung low. Anyway, I stopped watching TV at all, let alone MTV. And VH1? Who knew what was going on with that channel. It was like a Kenny Loggins album: nobody ever bothered.

Still, years later, time advances still, but VH1's demographic stays rigidly fixed with crosshairs on the aging. I notice them trying to resurrect the corpses of teenage television persona from my youth. I catch a show now and again about, "Where are they now?" for the same reasons I ever watched VH1: a brief visualization of the worst programming ever.

Now I've stumbled across their new show, "I Hate My 30's". I figure, "Okay, I'm in my 30's, this must be a show I can relate to, which depicts the absurd irony of the life of those in my position." With this thought in mind, using my 1337 h4x02 5x!l5 of the interwebs, I watch a show online.

I have to buy a braille keyboard now; I've dug my eyes out with my fingers.

This show was obviously not written by any thirty year olds. It targets people in their 20s and 40s and makes fun of their ignorance of what it is to be 30. We do not: Lament about our lost youth yet. We do not stress over having babies: we either already have our share, or are never going to.

Being in your 30's is like being a more powerful person in your 20's. You're bigger, faster, stronger, smarter, wittier. You have your choice of women from all age groups, either because they have a daddy fetish, or want some young stud. You can drink way more and hold your liquor better than any 20 year old. You still have all your not-gray hair. You have more money than when you were 20, a better car, cooler toys.

VH1 is trying hard to label us as in a limbo of not quite old and not quite young. It's a ploy, a primer: They are saying, "Soon, you will be old enough to watch hours of VH1 like your dying parents were. Give up on your youth and embrace the walker."

I say: VH1, your shit programming is still stupid.

Progress

2007-07-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

About five months ago, I had finally had enough of everyone telling me I should open my own shop. By everyone, I meant everyone: new friends, old friends, co-workers, bosses, complete strangers. The world seemed to see something here that I refused to look at. With each excuse I gave, the excuses sounded weaker and weaker. finally, I decided to give the thought some serious consideration.

I figured that once I actually sat down and did the math, that I would come up with some undeniable proof that this would be a bad idea. Instead, the more numbers I crunched, the more this looked like a possibility. I poured over books and piles of information. I researched from text, from interviewing other entrepreneurs, business journals, and even hit the streets and shopped my potential competition.

Five months later, I can hold it in my hand. It used to be an ethereal collection of half-ideas. Now its fifty pages of business plan, cash flow calculations, marketing calendars, and procedures. Its something I can touch and hold. It's something I can share with others.

Soon, even this will change, and it will become action. My life will become an exciting adventure, filled with risk and peril, success and reward.

And I will own a business.

22: No Crime Is Too Small

2007-07-08T19:01:00.000-07:00

Well here we are. I have successfully completed an entire chapter of comic goodness. By complete, I mean posted on schedule the entire time as well, without skipping a beat. It also means that the entire second chapter has been drawn, scanned, and laid out for you and only awaits my trickle-speed delivery into your memory nodes.

And so, I begin work on chapter three, while you feast on a completed chapter two.

You may or may not notice some of this differences in technique I'm using this time around. For shading, I forgo the grayscale Prismacolor markers. It seems that the bristol board seriously thirsts for their ink. A marker would typically last me about five episodes before drying out. That gets expensive faster than you would think. I've instead replaced them with good old fashioned india ink wash, applied with a bamboo sumi brush. It's actually a lot faster and easier than the markers, it turns out. A small well of ink has already lasted me 23 issues, and counting. Far more economical and I like the uneven brushed effect a lot better as well.

Also this time around, instead of doing all 20 or so at the same time, I attacked this chapter five episodes at a time. I finished a batch of five once a month, and that allowed me to have a week off each time.

Still, I found myself in eight to nine hour stretches of drawing once a month. It is truly an endurance builder. It would relieve me of the stress of the rest of the week as it completely consumed me for a day here and there. It would also leave me babbling incoherently at the end of the day. I would be left feeling as if I had crammed for some sort of final exam, once every few weeks.

So I hope you enjoy this next storyline, I think I induced severe brain damage while creating it.

21: Captain Coyote

2007-06-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

This episode of Jetsam brings the first chapter to a close. Initially, I had intended for this to be the end of my work on this comic; I love endings that leaves the mind open to make up stories about what happens next. However, my test readership group (my wife) read the comics and when she got to this point said, "That's it?" So I decided to write another chapter.

I had learned a lot of things during this run about writing a comic. By the time I was at this strip, I had developed a process and decided it would be fun to apply that to a continuation of the story. During that run, I had taken the foundation of process I created with this first chapter, and built on it and improved on it for the second.

Right now, you are seeing the end of chapter one, but I am finishing up chapter two, so I am a whole chapter ahead of you. I'm going to develop chapter three next, after a short break-- you will only notice one week between chapters where I don't update. The third chapter will hopefully wrap something up, leaving open ends for our minds to explore, or loose ends that I might build off of in the future. I think chapter three might be the last one, however.

I won't be stopping because I've lost interest; I am in love with the process at work here and I have a lot more to tweak and build on in terms of both story and art. I simply (as always) have other interests developing, ones that are taking up considerable time. I'm moving in positive new directions in life. Hopefully while you are in the middle of this next chapter, I will be opening my own business here in the real world. I expect that will take over my life once it becomes fully realized.

But that's not the future you have come here to see. You're here to see much farther. To a future in which we inhabit the orbit of our planet, and not much else has changed as far as human nature is concerned. So take a week off, and then I'll be back on July 8th with the beginning of the second chapter of Jetsam. If you thought the first one was good, wait until you see what I can do when I don't have to waste time figuring out the basics.

See you in two weeks!

16: I Wanna be a Pirate

2007-05-20T11:57:00.000-07:00

I promise, this week's comic is the last with the confusing layout of panels. Here is where I learn the lesson, except I always knew the lesson. I just failed to apply it in these couple early cases. I will spare you the confusing compositions from here on out.

It's how I learn: When, through research, I receive the knowledge that something doesn't work, I have to give it a try the wrong way on purpose. If I succeed regardless of the warnings, then I have new data to share with the community of nay-sayers. If I fail, then it was to be expected, and I gain enough knowledge to try again. On the second try, which becomes an honest attempt to succeed, when things start going wrong, I can better recognise the problems and counter them more effectively.

Meanwhile, on the other side of my brain, I like the new blog setup. I used to have to post this announcement with the comic, late Saturday night, while my brain was mush after a week of working. Now I can just shove the art up on time, then post words the next morning, when I feel more inclined to express myself for the day.

New Front Page

2007-05-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

I have mastered the art of the inline frame, which allows me to put the blog right up front where everyone can see it. I wasn't too happy with the announcement section being so static, with no way for you all to leave comments-- and I do love getting comments on whatever. So if you have something to say, even if it's silly, give it a post!

The Zen of Digging a Grave

2007-03-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

We buried the family cat last night.

Usually, when people say they’ve buried someone they love, they mean they paid the internment bill for someone else to do it. This time, I mean we put shovel to dirt and dug the grave. With pick and shovel, my brother-in-law and I disturbed the earth in the middle of the night, by flashlight. My wife and her mother looked on.

Have you ever dug a hole? Sell your Bowmaster on Ebay. Cancel the gym membership you never use. Forget all the exercises you learned in high school PE class. If you want a little fitness, go into your back yard and dig a hole. It doesn’t matter how deep, just keep going until you can’t anymore, then fill it back in. Do that once a week and you won’t have to worry about how much your fat ass sits around the house doing nothing the other six days.

Add to that the fact that the hole you’re digging will be the final resting place for a loved one, and you have a new sort of labor altogether. All of the emotions of death are involved. There’s the pain, the relief, the happiness and sadness, the love and anger, the guilt. All those things you feel, conflicting or not, when someone you love leaves you. This time, however, they’re directed at a hole in the ground rather than yourself. You can put them in the ground and bury them there instead of in your heart. It’s a far more suitable place for them.

I may have cheated myself in a way. In the future, I will have to bury a person I love. In all likelihood, I will have to do it the way most of us do: I’ll pay the fee and let the professionals handle it. I’ll be cheated because all I’ll be able to do is watch, helplessly, while life runs its course independently of my own exertion.

I’ll have nowhere else to bury my emotions than under the soil of my soul.

Neverwinter Nights Two Review

2007-03-02T07:58:00.000-08:00

I have built worlds.

I am a veteran of NWN1. I had made the Aurora Toolset an extension of my mind; if I could imagine it, I could build it. I learned a lot about game and community development for an online game and made many mistakes as well as achieved great adventures. Looking foreword, I had hoped Neverwinter 2 would build on that. Obsidian, however, has let me down. The theme of this game is: Too many resources utilized to accomplish too little.

The OC

I had low expectations from the out of the box campaign, and those were even undercut. I began my adventure by creating my character, happy to see Drow built in as a subrace. Character creation has improved from its predecessor from the angle of stats and variety of race and class, but it has lost ground in appearance customization.

To designers of character creation screens in all genres: For the love of god, nobody notices the subtle facial features alterations. If you are going to give us limited appearance customizability, the face is NOT the area you want to focus on.

Now we go into the adventure itself. Why does every DnD videogame begin the same? Why am I some orphaned ward under someone’s care? Why are the starting events and quests always so absolutely boring and “every day?” I am tired of being cast as the average Joe who follows the cliché path to greatness. I’d much rather have other clichés. “You and some friends are gathered at the inn, when a mysterious person approaches, asking for help..”

Okay, let’s get through this intro level and on to some real action. After I drop all my graphics options to nothing. That doesn’t help. The game is choppy at its best. My system is up to snuff, I just got a new processor a year ago.. let’s check the system requirements..

3.0 ghz!?! WTF?

Let it be known: I am a gamer. My system is custom built for the games I play. I can run anything on the market.. except NWN2. This game will cost you more than the box price. You will also be spending 3-400 dollars on a new CPU and motherboard. I’ll check the prices again in a year. I fear that by the time anyone is able to actually run this game, it will be obsolete.

Back to my game. So I wrangle my way thru the underperforming intro area. My fear inspiring drow gets responses that vary from indifference to, “Eek! A dark elf! Oh it’s just you.” Two tagalong NPCs continue to think I care about this stupid fare and all I want to do is ditch this little town and find some adventure.

So I participate in the little contests to get it over with, and crash just as I’m about to save. I do the intro and crash before I can save it three times. Then I give up. My machine will not run this game without crashing. If you want to hook me, you’ve failed.

So, on to the toolset.

This is the part I love. More options. More room for creativity. It’s just too bad nobody has a system that can run this game. I like the way you build in NWN2. There’s too many options for the novice, but that’s fine by me, who has years of experience in the preceding toolset. Here is the game’s potential. Here I can create a world that avoids all the obvious mistakes found in the OC. My only problem, I can’t run anything because the game’s system requirements are off the chart and out of anyone’s league. I can’t test anything to see if it works. If I host it, no one is able to play.

So I approach the tools with a project in mind, and ask myself, “What can I accomplish here that I couldn’t in NW1?” I ponder this a bit, as I play with the new layout. The answer I eventually come up with: not much new can be done. I can make prettier zones (at the sacrifice of anyone even having a machine that can play in them. Again, not a good trade off). All the script commands and object properties amount to more of the same with a graphics upgrade. That’s it. No real new functions caught my attention. I still can’t instance areas. The only thing mechanically new and interesting is that I can edit the walk-mesh—and I hate games that have to rely on walk-meshes (as opposed to physics-based games that allow you to jump, swim, and fall off cliffs). So as I consider whether or not it’s worth it to do the work to convert my old world to the new client, my answer is, “NO.” I gain no new functionality and actually loose the ability to play if I do so.

Obsidian, you blew it. In a year or two, I might upgrade my machine, but by then, I hope someone with more experience makes something better.

New Year, New Chapter

2007-02-04T13:03:00.000-08:00

Today is a culmination of events for me.

First, we have the final requirement for the successful fulfillment of New Years Resolutions 2006. That is: To watch an entire season of NFL Football. This is the one year anniversary of the beginning of actual interest in the sport, as I watched the Steelers overtake the Seahawks in last year’s game. After a life of despising the sport and its fans, this year I’ve taken another step in what is to be an eternal lifetime struggle: to understand the things I hate.

It’s a simple process that I think everyone should exercise from time to time. Take one thing you hate, and study it to find out why. Often, I’ve found that it turns out to only be an element of the thing that had me keeping it at arms length. Sometimes, it’s complete ignorance of the object of my ire. Most often, however, after any attempt to better understand such things, I come away actually enjoying it.

Second in today’s culmination is the posting of my new comic, Jetsam. This one I feel to be the most successful of the pieces I’ve assembled for others to see. The process of creation feels to fit me more naturally than the other attempts. It also remains interesting enough to have me about to attack a second set of 20 or so episodes while the first run is drip-fed onto the front page of my website once each week. With any luck, the reader will move seamlessly from one set to the next without noticing a break.

This brings us to the foundation of New Years Resolution 2007: To complete chapter 2 of Jetsam, and proceed in its posting. The next incarnation of the plot rope (rope, as in a woven bundle of threads) might differ from the first. I’ll just reserve the right to completely change style at whim if I think it would be an improvement. How much effort it receives will depend heavily on how much attention it gets from YOU. There will be a completion, on that I am determined. Whether the style develops into something that is simplified or more intricate will depend on how much anyone cares.

I can satisfy my need for self expression with hieroglyphic stick-figures and no dialogue. You would rather see something more colorful and intelligent. If I’m the only one who ever sees this, then stick-figures it is. If you visit often, religiously, then I might be inclined to show you what I’m made of. I’m an attention whore like that.

Daytime Lunch Hour

2007-02-03T12:10:00.000-08:00

Have you ever tried to eat lunch while watching soap operas? It's like their target audience is diharea on its period with a yeast infection.

I'll be hapily munching a panutbutter sandwich, enjoying the drama of some love trinagle, when we cut to commercial. Suddenly someone's taking a deep breath and confessing to me that they have genital herpes on national television!

Now I'm not hungry anymore.

About MMO Burnout

2006-06-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

I've recently read an article on MMORPG.com, where i get my daily dose of news about my favorite hobby. It sparked this observation:

I would have to say that there's nothing wrong with burnout in regards to a game. It's a natural, normal way of your brain telling you, “WTF!? Lets do something different with our time.” I don't think that there will ever be any collection of new and unique ideas that will permanently stave off burnout. Even if there is a regular stream of new content introduced to a game, the repetition of the underlying engine will eventually become too much.

Back in the days before MMOs, I would play thru a game beginning to end, just once on average. If bored, or if it was a good game, I'd run thru it again, getting all the side stuff and secrets along the way. Then after that, if it was a really really good game, I would mechanically beat it over and over until I could do it while not even paying attention to it. After a year tops, the game never got touched again.

Then came the MMO. The social aspect of the MMO allows me to follow pretty much the same formula, except it extends it another year or two. Though now i take my time on an MMO. I don't just blast thru it the first time. Sometimes after a time, I haven't even hit the endgame, yet the burnout sets in. It doesn't matter whether your to the end or not, the foundational mechanics of a game are the same all the way thru it. That's what causes the burnout: new level, same routine, different looking mobs.

So I say about burnout: It's no big deal. Play something different when it comes on. Your going to get it no matter what you spend your time doing, whether its games, work, school, TV, dating that annoying person who keeps telling you to play less video games. It's just a sign that you need a little change in your life.

The Orange Samurai

2006-04-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen my cat, Dusty, in more than a week. I called him the Orange Samurai, because that's how he lived; he was a ronin when we found him. He wandered the apartment complex, fighting and scrounging. We fed him one day and he never left.

Last week, we had our roof re-done. The noises were loud and obnoxious. Even the snakes were agitated, striking out at anyone who walked too close. I could barely stand to be inside while it was happening, and neither could Dusty. I let him out, and hadn't seen him since.

Sure, I miss him, but in a way, I always expected he'd leave. He's always been his own cat, without a master. He came and went as he pleased, but he always chose to come back. I can kinda relate. I'll be in one place for a good few years, and suddenly one day be gone for no reason and with no explanation. I'll keep the same people in my life only for a short time, then I'm out. You really have to impose to stay with me a long time, and for most folks, that's too much of a bother.

Still, I wish Dusty would come back. I'm waiting for another day when I hear once again the low growls outside of two scrapping cats tearing into each other's fur. Then I'll know that Dusty's back, reclaiming his neglected territory.

Rubber Sole

2006-03-26T06:42:00.000-08:00

My brand new army boots are coming apart at the stitching where the sole meets the shoe. I experienced a little dampness during the recent rain we had. I have a big thing against having wet feet- especially coming from the country's snowy butt-hole, Ohio, where wet feet can cause freezing damage to your toes in the winter.

My boss suggested silicone, the kind you use to seal up fishtanks, or mount ancient African stoneware to suede matboard inside of a shadowbox. The kind I spend my days sniffing, in a shamanistic picture framers' ritual of vision-questing.

I tried it. So far, so good, but it's stopped raining. I walked to work in them yesterday and the bit of it that got smeared outside the seam is peeling off. As long as the stuff stays in the seam, I'm good. I'll keep up observation, we may be onto something. If it works, I'll send my boss an email saying something like:

“Silicone worked great, now I don't have that leaking problem. They don't look as natural, but I still have a great looking pair.”

Context is everything.

2006-03-25T06:40:00.000-08:00

2006-03-23T07:29:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I watched Call of Cthulhu. I saw it in the horror section of my visual programming download site of choice, and thought, “Hmm, I don't remember seeing this on the verge of release in 2005.” For H.P. Lovecraft based movies, you usually don't. Despite the fact that Lovecraft's work beats the hell out of Stephen King out on the horror playground, and even the campy movies based on his books totally make King-based flick look like something you watch when you need something dumber than a B grade gore-flick, you generally do not get any hype form the straight to video Lovecraftian genre.

So as I cue-ing it up to watch, I'm remembering the wonderfully cheesy visual effects and deviation from the actual novels that one can find in older movies in this vein, such as Reanimator, and Dagon. I'm suddenly struck with a thought: I begin hoping that newer Lovecraft movies do not stoop to the level of poorly rendered CGI that one can get when they find a Maya class dropout willing to work more cheaply than Pixar. Even the good effects companies only hit the mark every once in a while, and the sort of story Lovecraft has to tell may be too tempting to base your whole movie on the virtual monster.

So the flick starts up, an my fears are all put to rest. The effects are extremely campy-- yet without a trace of any visible CG interference. In fact, it looks like an amateur job done completely with camera tricks and classic stop-motion animation. What's more, its fillmed in silent, scratched-up sepia toned, complete with text panels you have to read like the old time moving pictures. It sounds awful, and at first, I thought it would be, but you quickly get used to the style and in no time you are drawn into a world that remains true to the feel of the original story.

2006-03-21T07:11:00.000-08:00

I was invited to play Auto Assault this weekend, in its beta stage. I should have been excited, as I've never been invited to participate in a beta before. However, this game merely deliverers more of the same. It is so similar to City of Heroes, that I might as well play that instead, where I already know a very fun crew I could play with.

Auto Assault wasn't all bad, it wasn't bat at all, in fact. It just wasn't very new in gameplay concept. Its the same old, get your mission, go beat up baddie, and grind up the level ladder. If I'm going to redirect my overpriced subscription fees to a game, it is going to need something innovative. It is going to need to grow beyond goals of committing genocide against millions of artificially intelligent antagonists.

There was a small token of new interest that the game gave to me. It was fun to drive around what basically amounts to an open, offroad playpen in my machine gun mounted car. I like racing games, and this was like a racing game without the race. I was able to drive away from the track and go where I wanted without concern for finding a finish line. I was able to drive off of cliffs and ruined hunks of road. The physics engine allowed me to crash up the scenery, knocking over roadsigns, telephone poles, shacks, and nearly any other structure I should crash my vehicle into. It was a wonderful orgy of destruction.

Candy like that goes away quickly, however. In the end there are two things that define an MMO: game mechanics and the friends you make. The graphics all become invisible by about the second week.

2006-03-19T23:00:00.000-08:00

Who am I? Who am “I”? By all that breathes beneath the oceans' waves, how should one go about defining The Self? Yet I am expected to by very virtue of virtual real estate rental we call a web page. If I were a handful of clicks less lazy, I would first research the approach taken upon the vast seas of Narcissistic Shrines of this landlesscape, that one would take to such an essay. But then, would I not simply co-opt the opinions of others to present instead, which by the Laws of Philosophical Mathematics cannot be valid to define The Self? I try to be keen, as should you, to ensure that my opinions originate from The Self, and not implanted by means of any external media outside of personal experience. An impossible, yet vital task for the mind to undertake, as well as exploit in others.

I have put off this formality of design and self definition as long as I could. I fear I have to say that I must disappoint you again, if you were the odd sort who awaited an explanation, and visited this essay in hopes of receiving its delivery. You see, I dare not attempt to describe the vast and complicated formula that is Me in merely a handful or less of paragraphs. Yet, at the same time, I cannot put together a single, full paragraph of anything which might be interesting to you. Much like all things, I am unique.

I am just a guy. I do my things. I reside somewhere between normal and abnormal, if such a relationship is even truly measurable. I have no ambitions, and little drive to do more than sleep. All at once, at any given moment, I care for with deep love, dismiss with absolute disinterest, and curse with utter disdain the rest of the human race, or anything else for that matter. Sure, I am of a certain age, I live in a place, and know some people, but such things are so temporary, that if included, would require me to rewrite this essay at a latter date, under the interests of au courant. Writing cuts into time better spent in dream, so I will do all I can to avoid such an obligation. Or any obligation, for that matter.

2003-11-25T11:01:00.000-08:00

After the image of a figure is traced over three to four times, and that is required to be painted over four to five additional times, the end result has lost much from the original. However, that which was lost becomes replaced with the phantoms of the painter’s mind.

2003-11-12T10:23:00.000-08:00

Veterans Day

Yesterday was Veterans Day. This one has brought to me more thought than many Veterans Days before. I have in the past pondered the meaning of the day beyond the holiday novelty of it, but in the past I have had little connection to it. This year, however, my little brother is a veteran. It is weird to think of a veteran as younger than me. In the past, a veteran was an old man, abused by war, and then by his fellow countrymen on his return, and then again by his government- which remains lax in its monetary appreciation of his sacrifice. In those times, too, the word “hero” had a different meaning as well. In those days, the heroes of my brother and I were on-screen fighting aliens with big guns. Now it is my brother who is my hero, a veteran of our country. A young man, abused by war. This time we will respect our veterans.

To my brother, Brandon, my hero: Happy Veterans Day. Thank you for defending freedom and fighting the good fight. I’m grateful you are safe at home now. Take care, bro.

2003-11-11T07:21:00.000-08:00

Get a McJob!
McDonalds has been feeding us the bottom rung of what can possibly passed for food for so long now, that the “Mc” has been commonly used to denote anything of poor quality. It is a prefix I’ve used my whole life to accurately describe anything substandard. When I attach this prefix to a word and use it in everyday language, any listener who hears me expound about the McCrap will know exactly where I am coming from, as thoughts of hamburger-flavored meat-jelly filled doughnuts (which McDonald’s refers to as “cheeseburgers”) are conjured up to produce an almost flashback-like form of physical indigestion. However, now it is official.

The Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary now contains an actual definition for McJob:. The misquote I keep finding everywhere is "low paying and dead-end work," but the actual definition is “low-paying work with little chance of advancement.”

As expected, McDonalds is furious (to my delight). They are threatening lawsuits and all that good stuff, saying that it is "an inaccurate description of restaurant employment" and "a slap in the face to the 12 million men and women" who work in the restaurant industry. HA! The CEO who wrote that, Jim Cantalupo never worked behind one of his own counters at his own pathetic wage, that’s for sure! There seem to be an overpopulation of corporate CEOs who make company decisions with absolutely no idea what it is like to work for their own company. Cantalupo is living in a completely different planet than everyone else, obviously (dumbass CEO, your job should be illegal anyway, you corporate cock-sucker).

First off, there is no mention of “restraint employment” in the definition. Second, that is a damn accurate description of restraint work, on the nose anyway. The slap in the face the 12 million employees receive comes with every paycheck a McLooser earns. Lets get back to reality (I know it is difficult to even look at reality when you are a CEO) and realize that of those 12 million, aint a one with an ounce of pride in possessing the nations worst job, selling the worst food, for a wage slightly worse that Wal-Mart monkeys make.

You can’t sue the dictionary, you dumbass. A dictionary is not coining trademarks, but listing words that are in common usage. That’s like attacking the mirror because you have got one damn ugly reflection (all those pimples from making deep-fried iceberg lettuce salads, mmmm healthy). If you find your own company standards in the dictionary defining sub-standard employment, perhaps you should take a step out of your little fantasy world and take a good long look at the money grubbing PoS corporation you run. Cantalupo would jump at the chance to buy slave labor if he was allowed, I have no doubt. Just replace all your cashiers with ATM style cold stale fries vending machines and save everyone in the country a little dignity.

On my closing note, I would like to point out that this phrase, McJob has entered the dictionary during the reign of King Bush II. This is the president who will forever be known in the history books as the creator of the McJob economy. If this wiener get re-elected, rest assured we would all find ourselves buying all our manufactured goods from Japan, while the only job available in the US will be earning a pathetic McPaycheck while serving McGriddles and Diet Cokes to fat bitches who are in a hurry. Thanks asshole, I’m going to move to Iraq, where the president is spending my taxes to create real jobs.

2003-10-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

2003-10-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

This is an excelent quote I came across in my life-long search to learn all languages not human:

"The three principal virtues of a programmer are Laziness, Impatience, and Hubris."

From the FAQ at Perl.com
http://www.perldoc.com/perl5.6/pod/perl.html

2003-08-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

Youll have to excuse my spelling mistakes today, Im battling the msBlaster worm on my normal computer, currently, and I dont have any spell checking on this one.

Got that one Munday morning, just hours before my wife and I left for our firat anniversary. Finaly got a chance to fix it now that Im back. I think I would be upset if I didnt enjoy foiling the attempts of sloppy hackers. Even found another virus that must have been left by a more skilled advarsary.

Our anniversary was great. The little woman and I took a trip up to Taho, where we got a huneymoon suite-- complete with the heart shaped tub. We had a great time, just wandering around exploring the town. Its an inspiringly beautiful place, though your goal there must be shopping or skiing. They all have this bazaar notion that snow is actualy called "powder". If I'm not mistaken, my birthplace near Cleveland is in the "Snow Belt," not the "Powder Belt." If you put the word "Limousine" on the side of a black van, that does not make it a Limo. Good time that we had, it was because we were out and on vacation and celebrating the success of our relationship. It was a bonding thing. The fun had little to do with the location.

Good and bad things are comming up: Next weekend, our friends Mardy and Ian are getting married after what I understand is a long time (since highschool if I remember, and they are our age). That is a good thing, by the way; I got a new outfit for it and everything. Not so good is that our friends Anna and Matt are moving away from us, to the windy, rainy, grungy, hacky-sack-playing, northern reaches of Seattle Washington. I don't understand what's up there but cheap and muddy property, but I wish them the best of destinies.

2003-08-01T12:08:00.000-07:00

If oppinions are like assholes, then I must look like a puckered slice of swiss cheese.

2003-08-01T07:06:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s been a pretty normal week for me, so I suppose I should define “normal” to you. I wake up at 6 every morning with or without an alarm. I feed our “stray” cat, Dusty. We took him inside and gave him a bath and some food and he’s been sleeping on our couch ever since. Next I get the coffee going, because there is NO semi-conscious activity out of me until I’ve drank at least one pot of coffee. Coffee and aspirin: the breakfast of champions. The FDA really needs to start adding nutrients to those two things, I would probably shake less.

Then it’s off to work (woo-hoo.) Don’t ask me what I do because as soon as I punch out for the day I have a memory leak where I just forget every crap-hole thing that happened to me while I’ve been out whoring myself to corporate America. My paycheck passes through me faster than a burrito and it seems that my only financial purpose is to guide the numbers from my employer to my creditors. I’ll help stimulate the damn economy when you give me some actual money to spend! What’s up with refund checks going to those with kids only? The hillbillies of this country do NOT need another excuse to add their damaged genes to the pool. Stop reproducing you morons!

I digress as usual. It’s because I listen to the news too much at work. They play this musak there, and pump it into the back room where I really don’t need to hear it. The music itself isn’t that bad, it’s just that the four hour tape loop everyday for the past year and a half is like a Chinese water torture: the drip by itself is not painful—it’s being tied to the chair with the drip that drives me to bring a couple shotguns to work on a day when the district manager is visiting, so I can show him the numbers. Anyways, the radio: I listen to a lot of NPR turned up real loud to drown out the muzak. Normal radio has a commercial every 5 minutes, and while I’m not against advertising, I am strongly against “Stupid Radio Announcer Voice” that the dumbasses with the cash like to have represent their companies. I have been turned off of more products by their bad commercials than attracted to them. I boycott bad advertising because there's no excuse for it. Stop sucking please.

I'm not too worried about California’s quintupled car registration tax or the price of oil-for-terror (yea, YOU paid those guys to crash into the WTC) because I walk to work and back. That’s four miles worth of fat gut I’m not getting everyday.

When I finally get home, all the stuff I told myself I was going to do later while I was still trapped at work goes out the window, and I sit myself down in front of this computer and reduce myself to vegetable status. It’s a lot like you when you sit on the couch and watch TV, but at least my brain is still getting exercise, somewhat. I spend the rest of my life here: www.alaam.com where I entertain myself with a whole community of those with the same passion for excessively complicated video games.

I usually pass out at my keyboard, to wake up for more of the same tomorrow. I’m old now. Satisfied?

2003-07-31T07:17:00.000-07:00

Here we are at the end of July, and my first “Blog” entry. I used to write up junk like this when I first came to the internet, except I used HTML and updated a webpage. When I was a kid I always wanted my own “zine,” a very cheap, very local news magazine that revolved around the news of my teenage life. Zines were published on Xerox copy machines back then. It was a cost I could not justify, as I had doubts anyone was willing to pay for a self-published paper. I was always worried about recouping overhead costs for things like that. Besides, I always had great ideas for presentation and layout of the zine’s style, but never any actual content to put in there.

Then came my computer, I learned HTML in seconds. I actually made a webpage and updated it with HTML news and the like. Laid the whole thing out in my idea of a good webpage. There was a gallery of my art, a page of links, and a section of HTML ratings of whatever was on my mind. After a while I wondered, “What’s the point?” I mean, who cares about my point of view? Are you really that bored that you read about what I think about random trash? So the primitive form of blogging I did was ended, as long as a few years back.

Little did I know that I had left an audience hanging. I did have a small number of people who read my crap, a small but important audience seemed to be very interested in what I had to say about anything: my parents. They live on the other side of the country from me, and, well, I’m a hermit by nature; too reclusive to call my mom or even my closest friends on a frequent basis. Those people who stay involved in my life are those who tolerate my long periods of simply not being there—something many find too bothersome to stick around for. But my parents are stuck with me, the original prototype of their genetic experiments. On the rare moments we speak on the phone they STILL ask about this webpage I abandoned years ago. My mom has every page, every word printed on paper. I was struck with the notion that these two wanted to hear more from the mind of their son who sucks at frequent communication.

So, mom and dad, this blog’s for you. You’ll find that even now my brain works much like it did back when it wore a big old mohawk and disrespected much everything set before it. I know you get a kick out of it, so enjoy.