A New Chapter

Today is my last day of working for another person. Tomorrow, I am self employed. It's leaving the safety of the familiar behind and having to trust myself. I have to trust my plans will work. I have to trust my budget is sound and the math is right.

The first few months are going to be the hardest, as I build this trust in my own ability to carry my own weight. The tasks that need to be accomplished are overwhelming if I think about them all at once. I have to keep everything laid out in a careful schedule in order to keep my nerves steady: Every complex problem can be solved a series of many simple tasks. I have to focus on one task at a time, and trust that I've laid them all out.

For some reason, sometimes its hard trusting that I have everything together, except in the moments where I can look directly at the plan and see the sense that it makes. It's as if I've proved myself to everyone in the world, except myself.

And that's sort of why I'm doing this: The only person that matters is demanding proof that I can.